Being annoyingly kitsch post-mortem: is it even possible?

The answer is yes, easy. One can be dead for ages and still radiate massive amounts of annoying kitsch. ‘Example?’ you would ask the way Jules Winfield asked his friend Vincent Vega in the unforgettable film ‘Pulp Fiction’. Your wish is my command. Go to Grapevine Canyon in Death Valley, find the so called ‘Scotty Castle’ (which has never been Scotty’s, nor a Castle), and visit the Scotty’s grave right above the kitschy mansion.

Scotty Castle

Scotty Castle

Read the inscription on the kitschy tombstone and you’ll realise it’s perfectly possible to contaminate the world with narcissistic stupid kitsch even from the grave. At least that’s precisely what the con man Walter Scott aka ‘Death Valley Scotty’, dead since 1954, still does.

Follow Road to Scotty's Grave

Follow Road to Scotty’s Grave

Approximately 100.000 people from all around the world visit his grave each year to marvel at the wisdom this big-headed con artist left the world: «I got four things to live by: don’t say nothing that will hurt anybody, don’t give advice — nobody will take it anyway, don’t complain, don’t explain.»

'Don't explain'

‘Don’t explain’

Walter Scott never abided by these rules. Nor could he con enough men to get rich. On the other hand, he did manage to convince one of his dupes, Albert Mussey Johnson, to provide for him and his wife Jack, till Scotty’s death.

Now that you’ve read the post-mortem message sent to us from the past, what do you think, is it really annoying kitsch? Or do you think the words Death Valley Scotty proclaims from his grave are wise and maybe even pretty damn cool? — ‘don’t give advice, nobody will take it anyway’, ‘don’t complain’, ‘don’t explain’…

Death Valley Scotty's grave

Death Valley Scotty’s grave

Then two things just happened: you’ve been contaminated by annoyingly kitschy, narcissistic stupidity, and on the other hand, even more importantly, you’ve been conned by a dead man.

And if this happened, maybe the Death Valley Scotty wasn’t that bad a con artist after all.

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